Acupuncture is useful to bring on contractions and induce childbirth. It is a slower process than induction with pharmaceuticals, but it is gentler and supports the body in its normal functioning. Often daily treatments are recommended, and the partner of mum-to-be is shown some points that they can massage to assist in the process.

Once the little bundle of joy has arrived, protect her/him. In Chinese medicine, we recommend that mum and bub stay at home together for at least the first 30 days. Resist the urge to show-off your little one. They need time to get used to their new environment, and you will also need time to get used to your new role.

All of the previous self-care applies:

• Eat well
• Avoid the mercury-laden fish
• Avoid the dirty dozen (include broccoli on the list)
• Avoid chemicals
• Keep a balance in your lives
• Ensure you are getting good sleep

Remember too, that what is on and in a breast-feeding mum can easily be transferred to bub.

One other point, avoid perfumes. I mentioned previously to avoid artificial fragrances – air fresheners and the like, but it is really important to avoid perfumes, aftershaves and other synthetic fragrances.

Synthetic fragrances are made from a cocktail of chemicals. Like other personal care products, they are not tested for their safety.

Many people react to these chemical cocktails, often without realising. Symptoms can include headaches, nausea, dizziness, depression, mood swings, and so on. People react differently. Often they medicate with painkillers, alcohol or some other substance. As I have said before, prevention is better than cure.

If any of you are not feeling quite right, there is much that Chinese medicine can do to assist, building you back up to a healthy level.

Too often I hear people blaming all that is wrong in their lives on their parents.

I guess it’s a big part of our culture, and I think it is based in Freud’s thinking. I am not talking James Freud, although he was one clever bunny. But I am talking Sigmund.

Sigmund related much of our adult behaviours and problems to what happened in childhood. Maybe we had problems toilet-training, so that makes us “anally retentive,” or trouble with being weaned from the breast – and, no, fellas, that does not excuse any breast obsessions!

Parents are human. Parents became parents without training, without manuals, without rule books. They had to work it out as they went. None are perfect. The absolute majority did what they thought was best at the time.

I want to dedicated this blog to my mother who is now in her eighties.

Mum brought us up on her own (at least for the first six years of my life). She somehow managed to make ends meet on the tiny pension she got, with both of us below school-age. How she managed this, I don’t think I will ever know, this is not what I want to share with you today.

What I want to share are some of her ingenious child-rearing practices.

• Calendar Days (this only works if there are two children)

Calendar Days is a system by which children get equal turns at things. My brother chose to be even, and I chose odd (funny that!). Every second day, you got to choose which shows to watch on television, which records (aka CDs) we would listen to, and even which bedtime story was to be shared. Any choice that needed to be made was made by the one who’s “day it was.”

Genius!!

• The Fine System

We got given a small amount of “pocket money” – I think it was $1 a week. Pocket Money day was the same day each week. There were no advances. It was how it was.

Linked in with this, was a Fine System. All of our unacceptable behaviour was given a monetary value, and it would come off our pocket money.

If following the rules was really hard one week, you may not end up with much, or sometimes none at all.

We quickly learned that there were consequences for our actions. Consequences that we didn’t like.

At a later stage, a Reward System was also introduced. This meant that is we did above and beyond our usual jobs we would get a set reward.

• The Ejector Seat Button

This one was scary!

My brother and I liked to bicker in the car – well, to be honest, I think we bickered anywhere and everywhere. Poor Mum had to somehow drive AND cope with us.

Hence the invention of the Ejector Seat Button.

Even whilst writing this I say it with awe and fear.

In the midst us carrying on, Mum would calmly state, “I am reaching for the Ejector Seat Button,” as she leaned slightly towards the gear stick.

Both of us had fertile imaginations, the vision of us flying out through the roof of the car and up into the air was vivid!

It worked every single time! (Hey, it might even still work now!)

• The Bedtime Story

Often at the end of the day, Mum was exhausted. She was too tired to read. But she also highly valued the bedtime story (I think no child should ever go to sleep without a bedtime story, but I digress).

So, she would lay back on the bed and tell us one.

Vivid imaginations certainly ran in the family – and I am very grateful that they do!

• Belief in Us

Mum has been amazing.

She has been such a great mother, and also such a great friend.

This final thing I am about to share with you is one of the most incredible things that my mother has ever done. She does it day in, day out. She does not falter in it. She does not even realise the power of what she has done. She only knows about it because I thank her again and again.

She believes in us.

She is honest. She will tell us what she really thinks. She expresses her concerns. She may even advise against. But, whatever it is that we choose to do, she supports us no matter what.

She honestly, and completely, believes in us.

I think that this is the most valuable gift a parent can give.

It means that we believe in ourselves, too.

I appreciate the efforts of my amazing mother, and have found her a great inspiration throughout my life.

I hope that these five ideas of hers will be a massive inspiration to you, too!

In order to get through the festive season with as little stress as possible the first thing to do is get organised.   Spend a bit of time planning all the things you need to do and making lists.

List all the ingredients you need to cook the things you want to serve on Christmas day and on any other days you plan to entertain.  This will help you limit the amount of times you have to make trips to the shopping centre.  Shopping centres at Christmas time are certainly a bit source of stress.

In the same way, list all the gifts you need to buy so you can maximize the time you spend at shops.  If you spend a bit of time organizing where you can go to do the bulk of your present buying in one go you will free up some time to do more relaxing things. Don’t spend more than you can afford, it is awful to spend the next few months paying off your credit cards and worrying about money.

If you are trying to follow a sensible eating plan Christmas can present all kinds of temptations to abandon your efforts and throw caution to the wind.

The first thing is never to go to a function hungry.  The finger food served is often very high in kilojoules and if you are starving you can easily eat a lot of energy value in a few pieces of deep fried bites.  Have something healthy to eat before you go out.  This will help to slow down the absorption of alcohol as well.  Don’t forget alcohol contains a lot of probably unneeded kilojoules.  Have some glasses of water between drinks.

If you are the one providing the food remember to have some vegetables such as carrot and celery sticks, cherry tomatoes and other raw vegetables to eat with dips.  A platter of lovely seasonal fruit will help you and others not to stray too far from the path of healthy eating.  It is a nice idea to serve things such as a prawn salad in lettuce cups instead of bread as finger food.

Try to factor yourself in to your planning.  Don’t set yourself huge complicated menus that require you to spend days cooking and feeling overwhelmed and pressured.  Prepare whatever you can beforehand to leave you some time to enjoy your family and friends.

If your family asks you for suggestions as to what you would like as a gift, think of things like massages, facials, and vouchers to a day spa, so when all the festivities are over and before you go back to work, you can take yourself off for some well deserved pampering.

A happy and safe festive season to all of you.

Being happy is important. Try to free yourself from worries and troubling thoughts and activities. Focus on your wellbeing and that of your bub.

A quaint Chinese tradition is for pregnant women to be surrounded by beauty – beautiful places, beautiful items, and so on. This is because it is thought that this beauty which she is surrounded by will be transmitted through to the baby.

My clients frequently ask me what to do with all the stuff they no longer want. You know what I am talking about: the dress you wore once, the earrings your aunt gave you that aren’t quite your style, the wedding gifts still in the original boxes, and the sports gear for the sport you gave up.

Should you have a garage sale, sell it on eBay, drop things off at the local charity or find a friend who wants what you don’t?

Ask yourself two questions: How valuable is it and, how much time do you want to invest in selling it?

Use eBay if your items have real value and you have some time to prepare them for auction.  If you haven’t got a lot of time, use an eBay reseller.  They take a cut of your profit but you will not spend any time photographing, posting, responding to questions or mailing it.

Consider having a garage sale or participating in a car boot sale at a local school if you have lots to sell and lots of spare time.  Don’t expect to sell everything or make much money, though.  People love and expect bargains.

What about the rest? It’s easiest to drop everything off at your local charity shop and say goodbye quickly but often our possessions feel too good to just drop off – so they sit around gathering dust and taking up space.  If you struggle with making that drop off at the op shop why not have a swap party? It’s eco-friendly, a great way to de-clutter your space and a fun way to catch up with your friends.

Here’s how: Invite your friends to come over for nibbles and a swap. Ask each guest to bring 5-10 items they no longer want, ideally in great condition. As they arrive, give each guest tickets – one per item – and tell them to write their name on their tickets.

Then put all of the swap items out for display. Allow time for everyone to look around at all the fantastic stuff and place their tickets next to anything they want to bring home. If more than one person wants the same item, draw the name out of a hat. And if an item doesn’t get swapped and the owner doesn’t want to bring it back home, pass it along to an appropriate charity.

No matter what you choose, you’ll feel better for sending your unwanted stuff on its way.

Conception is not going to happen easily if one or both of you are really stressed and anxious about conceiving, work, study, life, that annoying neighbour over the back, or whatever else.

Your mental wellbeing is also important. Being relaxed about it all makes a big difference.

Conceiving can take time – it does not necessarily happen overnight.

Instead of seeing each month that you haven’t conceived as a wasted month, enjoy the time you get to “make the baby” (you know what I mean).

Babies are the result of making love, so do so lovingly and joyously. Do not treat love-making as a means to an end – it is purely to make a baby. Ultimately, the baby is the end result of a loving union.

Acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine can be useful if you are getting anxious or stressed. They are both extremely useful in balancing moods and emotional states.

Ensure that neither of you are intoxicated (see previous non-negotiable rule), or are affected by any other substance, as this will have some affect on your bub-to-be.

If you are using IVF or other forms of assisted conception, then arrange acupuncture treatments directly before and afterwards. Acupuncture (and moxibustion) beforehand can help to prepare mum to receive. After the transfer, it can help with “holding.”

It may be necessary to continue on with a course of herbs in the early stages, this is more likely if you have had difficulty maintaining a pregnancy in the past.

Keep up with the dietary recommendations and the avoidance of chemicals.

Pay more attention to your toiletries – remembering that what you place on your skin is also absorbed by it, entering your bloodstream and that of little-bubby.

Become a label detective – arm yourself with resources such as Statham’s Chemical Maze (as a book or an app), become familiar with Environmental Working Group (www.ewg.org) and Campaign for Safe Cosmetics (www.safecosmetics.org).

This is a massive topic (I will write on it another time), but in a nutshell: there are over 10,000 ingredients commonly used in personal care products. Very few are tested for the safety for human use. Even fewer are tested in the combinations which they are used in (synergistically, their effects are even greater when in combination). Just because they are used does not mean they are safe. We (wrongly) assume that they are, because we trust the authorities and powers-that-be to ensure our safety. The cosmetics and personal care industry is largely unregulated. Have a look at The Story of Stuff at www.storyofstuff.com for a user-friendly introduction to these concepts.

I will leave you here to ponder all of this… but remember to relax and enjoy the process.

I have five sons. I play a lot of cars games, a lot of train games….. and I skateboard. I love every minute of it although I confess I have tuned out when my eldest son drones on about the huge fish he caught that was this big. Yawn. Sorry.

There is no problem with boys at all. You gotta go with what you get given in life. I have a daughter who hated Barbie, refused to attend ballet lessons and never, ever dressed up in my clothes and played in my shoes & bags & make-up. Never. She’s into all that now. But she’s 15 and has her own stuff. She’s very feminine, just not very girly. There’s a difference.

Boys are busy. They love to explore their world. They love to move their bodies around. To discover what they are capable of. To discover their limits & then push them…. I mean really push them. They love to make noises with their bodies. There a

re the obvious ones but I’m also talking about sticking their finger in their mouth and popping, flicking things with their fingers to make a rhythm, using their feet to drum, using their tongue to click. My boys love to talk. And talk and talk. They love to eat. They eat so much food.  I’m noticing that teenage boys have a magnetic attraction to deep fried food. He is drawn to it as if by force every day. I am on top of it and tell him categorically ‘No more’. At high school you have little control over what they choose. So I tend to focus on what I can do to guide good choices. It has to be done subtly. “what are you planning on ordering?”… ‘oh ok how about taking some fruit for morning tea?’….. or “good choice that will be yummy, next time could you get a salad to balance out your week?” that sort of method. Boys don’t like being told what to do. At any age

I try to work with my boys. Empowering them with controlled choices. Such as what I serve on their dinner plates. With my four smaller boys I offer a wide variety to choose from and then they choose from that. I never just serve a choice of one or two things, more like six or seven. I have also learnt through experience “you can lead a child to the dining table, but you cannot make him eat.” Brilliant! Relax….. over the course of a week most normal, healthy children will eat normal, healthy food if it’s offered to them.

haha right now, the revolting phase my now 20 months twins are in is the “throw it with meaning” phase. The instant they are finished eating it becomes sport-like and you are silly to not pay attention , plus duck & weave. It’s not ideal right now for us to have visitors. Luckily it’s warming up weather wise so we dine Al Fresco a lot. :)

If I give them what are only good options then they can only make a good choice.

My other adage which is said often between my husband & I is “set him up for success”.

Doesn’t matter if he is 3 or 13. He needs to be guided to a choice that allows him to succeed. If they don’t realise you are doing this they tend not to fight it for fighting’s sake.

There is a real art in this as you need to be on top of it all. I am never on top of it all the time. But my heart is in the right place.

The way I see it, there is no problem with boys. I do roll my eyes sometimes and ponder how different my life might be if I’d had more of my six be girls. But there are pros & cons in everything. Boys challenge you. Boys let you be. Boys love you fiercely. Boys ignore you. Boys are hungry and boys are never still & quiet at the same time. Well, maybe as they sleep. Apparently my boys Grandmother used to say about my husband “he’s lovely when he’s asleep”…. well, there you go.

Have a nice month. :)

The past couple of weeks have been terrible, and at this stage there is no sign of improvement. Prices are very high, quality is average and supply is very short.

Tomatoes

All varieties are up in price – there are simply not enough to go around at the moment.

Limes