Siena lost a huge privilege this week. Gymnastics for a term…and on probation to get it back until Term 3. Why? Complete and utter insolence, rudeness, entitlement and a tantrum ( although there were quite a few preceding this one) that was beyond anything I could have imagined. I had to follow through, as empty threats are just that. Empty.
She’s upset, no doubt. To be completely honest, so am I. I’m not gloating, I feel terrible. I made sure she understood that I loved her although I didn’t love her behaviour. It was stressful, none the less and I am sure many a parent has struggled with the same. Being a parent has it’s moments, so many that are wonderful, so many that test you. Discipline, it’s absolutely necessary…for you and your child.
I didn’t want to take her gymnastics away. Although, if talking and reason doesn’t work (she’s nearly 7), what does? This wasn’t a choice I made on a whim. Consistent disobedience and rudeness, above all, has been the catalyst. Kids don’t get words – they get actions. As a matter of fact, some adults don’t get words either – they only get actions.
Her Dad and I are separated and it hasn’t always been rosy. We had a long discussion about it. She’s been playing both of us for quite some time. We both feel guilty about the separation and we’ve over-compensated by giving in too easily, to too many wants. Enough is enough.
But, what’s my lesson here? It’s not just Siena’s behaviour, it’s mine that needs review. Laziness, weakness and no integrity. This has eventuated because I couldn’t be bothered, in all those little moments, preceding this one, to follow through. Too tired, I’m too busy, it doesn’t matter, not the ‘right time’ blah, blah. And blah.
Retrospectively, one of the silliest things I’ve done, in haste and anger, is create punishments that I’m just not going to follow through on. Like when you have gone camping, 2 hour’s drive away and you say “If you speak to me like that again, we are leaving” As if!
Realistic time – outs. I will do it. I am tired. I work full time now and run this site and some where in between try to keep my house in order. It’s not always orderly – I’m not perfect, no-one is. Perhaps I need a realistic time – out. Yep, that’s what I think I need. As the Dalai Lama says ” Everything is temporary”. He’s right. I have faith that all will be okay in my world… in fact, I know it will.
Until next month,