Life is short. I’ve heard this term often enough and never gave it all that much thought until recently. 

The past twelve months have been full; full of hurdles,changes, realisations and some very tough times. Not just for me but for others in my circle of friends. Separation, ill health and issues concerning mortality have come to pass and they have all had an enormous effect. 

I can only speak from my own experience, but given my separation and subsequent ill health of my ex-husband, I can identify a few key lessons I’ve learnt over this period. 

• You have no control over what other people do or say, only over what you do and say. Although it may seem elementary, quite often the desire for a certain outcome can result in your behaviour changing, trying to influence outcomes too much. Be honest in what you say or do and just take what you get. It’s peaceful that way. 
• There’s no right or wrong, just opinion. Opinions always differ; you don’t have to agree with another view, just understand that there is another point of view!  
• Be the best of yourself, no matter what you are faced with. Regardless of the obstacles and other peoples’ reactions to the truth, ultimately, to keep your self-respect or regain it, who you are and how you behave in any given situation, matters. It can make a difference, even when faced with tough situations and difficult reactions. Try not to be reactionary. 
• Ask for help. This was hard for me to do as I like to come across as ‘ever capable’ Cath. Problem is, people believe you are alright and leave you to it! Stop acting, get real and ask for assistance. 
• Talk to friends. This was my saving grace. My friends came to the fore. Some listened, some advised and some just distracted me. All these aspects of friendship were crucial and I give thanks to my wonderful friends, who love me for who I am and who I am not.  
• Everything is temporary. The roller coaster ride your emotions can take you on is breathtaking and debilitating at times. Remember, the feelings, however powerful, will pass. 
• Be thankful for what you have and what you don’t have. Can you walk? Can you talk, see, hear, love, feel? You’re doing okay. 

Retrospectively, I wish I had understood these lessons above a little earlier and behaved with more humility and grace at times. 

I am grateful for my good health, my gorgeous daughter, great friends and family, new friends, wonderful old friends that are back in my life, laughter, good food, a roof over my head, a great job, a sense of humour, sunshine and after a trying year, some insight.  There’s also been a great deal of healing and finally some happiness. Yay!!!  

Thanks for your patience… Yummy Bubby’s Editor is back. : )

Until next month…