“Keep it together… keep it together forever & ever….”
Great lyrics from Madonna. Isn’t this our aim when we create our family? It was certainly mine. I guess it still is…..
But wow. There are days when we hang on by our fingernails.
When the children seem to whine all day.
When the decision about what to have for dinner is utterly beyond you.
When the phone just keeps ringing and the children cry, pull at your legs and jump up & down as you try to be polite to someone you just cannot be bothered talking to…..
When you & your husband/wife/partner & you are passing like ships in the night.
or if you are on your own
What do I do when I’m feeling like it’s all just a little too much that day?
- Take a deep breath.
- Turn off ALL the noise. Switch off the television. Turn off the radio. If only the children had a mute button…..!!
- Take the phone off the hook. Switch the mobile to silent. it’s ok… you will live & so will whoever is calling you.
- Get a break…. if all I can get is three minutes in the bathroom with the door locked then I’ll take it. But if I can actually get away from the house & everyone, that’s better.
- Decide what’s for dinner & get it out on the kitchen bench, ready to create. When I feel this way I go totally basic. Check the freezer, grab that life saving Bolognese sauce, or grab a big tin of baked beans. Just choose something. Cheese on toast. The point is knowing what you need to get done for the rest of the day. Make a move in the right direction.
- Figure out what is essential. Get that done. For me that’s getting dinner sorted, sheets on beds, having the babies get their nap, knowing how everyone is getting home & being organised to achieve that.
- Stop talking… if me & my husband are bickering, you know, when nothing they do is right….. and I know I’m being nit picky and irritating….. I stop talking. Just until I can know I will stop being so darn annoying. When the wheels seem to be back on for me, I stop & just stop. Maybe only for a minute, but I stop & think actively about what is good in my day.
- Be grateful…… it really puts the bad thing happening to you into perspective.
Keep the big picture in your head. Love is at the heart of every family, large or small. Some days it flows so beautifully…. the other days, take it easy, be kind to yourself and your partner if you have one. Remember that anything you are feeling about the pros & cons of having a family, he might just be feeling the same things. Sometimes being able to sit & talk honestly, even when that’s hard. Those talks are often the most rewarding. Laying your heart on the line can be really terrifying, especially if you’ve been hurt before. But that can also open your heart to being trusted and loved again.
I truly believe it’s pretty normal to feel like the wheels are coming off. Whether you have one child, seven, multiples or not. We all have a thresh-hold and we all reach it. Often more times than we will dare admit publicly.
I think it’s totally ok not to be perfect. I wish I was closer to perfect, mind you. I work hard each day. I know my efforts but I’m not perfect. I am, however pretty ok, and that is enough. Keeping it together with every task I achieve each & every day.