Probably one of the most common difficulty children can present with is anxiety.  The range of anxieties is great and intensities can vary from being a “little fear” to a debilitating phobia.  One of the most common childhood fears is fear of the dark. 

If you think about it, some fear of the dark is evolutionarily normal.  That is, we are not meant to be fumbling around in the dark as it does pose some inherent dangers to do so.  This very primitive fear usually rears its head when children are quite young and can be developmentally normal (i.e., something they will grow out of).  However, when parents notice that their child is so afraid of the dark that it is very distressing for the child, if they notice that the child will not participate in sleep-overs, school camps etc because of this fear, or if they find their child in their bed night after night due to this fear, they usually start to ask for help (i.e., Help!). 

So, how to help a child who is afraid of the dark?  If we are dealing with a child over about 2 years old, we can begin to “wean” them off the need for light by applying behavioural strategies.  This means, parents can slowly and in a very gradual fashion make their room darker.  This strategy is easiest if you have a dimmer for your lights but also can work by being clever with lighting that are in hallways etc.  Given children are quick to pick up on these sort of changes – despite how subtle we try to make them, parents may also need to tie each small step toward darkening the room with a reward and discuss these steps with them.  The combination of a small step in the direction of an agreed-upon goal and a small reward (including a lot of praise) will usually work well unless the steps are too large. 

Here is an example of a step-wise approach to moving a child from having the light on in his room (at bedtime) to having no light on in his room.                         

Steps

1. Dimming the current light by changing the bulb to a lower wattage.  If noticeable, offer a small reward for each night accomplished – until the child seems to be or voices he’s comfortable with this change.
2. Dim light even more by using the lowest wattage available (or using a dimmer) or shift now to nightlight in the room.  Since this may be a stark change, offer a larger reward especially for the first night.  Repeat this step for as long as it seems necessary.  The idea is to keep repeating steps until the child looks very comfortable or says he is. 
3. Move nightlight into the hall with the door completely open.  This step is also a bigger one and should be accompanied with a larger reward especially for the first night or two.  This may be enough for most families.  It really depends on what the specific goal was to start with. 

Clearly, these steps should be individualised to fit the child and family.  However, this step-wise approach coupled with rewards for bravery if done very gradually should work well.  Also, children often respond well to talking about what it is about the dark that scares them, having a “special” toy with them while sleeping in a dark room or being able to choose their steps that move them toward conquering their fear.  Most children respond really well to being involved in the process and feeling empowerment of leading the way.   

Good luck with helping your child overcome his fear of the dark.  Here’s to helping your child to be brave! ESW