All parents know the enormous demands a new baby places on your time – time with friends, with family and with your partner.  Time becomes one of your most precious possessions forever more!  

A baby is a 24 hour a day job, and still you must cook, clean and sleep.  Making time for others in the family can be a challenging (and sometimes frustrating) experience. Your energy levels are at their lowest for a while after your birth (in most cases this can be months after birth), and this, combined with sleep deprivation and demands for your time, will affect all of your relationships, especially with your partner.  

Most mothers find that pulling together a network of supportive friends and family is one of the best ways to make it through these trying times.  Partners can get a lot of joy from their one-on-one time with the new baby.  Family time together can also be enjoyable.  Even though they do not breastfeed, your partner can bath baby, help with the settling, have cuddles and/or play with the baby while you get some much needed time to yourself (that does not mean wondering about what you are going to eat for dinner!) 

Eating a nutritious diet, allowing yourself time for rest, and getting small amounts of exercise through the day will affect your energy levels in a positive way.  It is also important to find a little time for yourself.  Ten minutes a day can make an enormous difference.  Many new mothers tell me that they cannot sleep through the day – that’s OK … but make yourself sit with a book and relax to recharge your batteries every day. 

Resuming sexual relations after having a baby adds a whole new dimension to your love life.  Your body has gone through so many changes, that you might lose interest in sex.  Some mothers find that they are just too tired, and have no energy left to put into their relationship at all. These are normal feelings and should pass with time. 

When you are ready, one thing to keep in mind is Oxytocin, the hormone of love.  Oxytocin is responsible for the letdown reflex when you breastfeed… it is also the hormone that is released during sex- so be prepared – you may get wet!  Oxytocin may also cause some vaginal dryness, so lubricants may be necessary at times. 

Breastfeeding can delay the return of your menstrual cycle, so you will not know when to expect your menses (periods) to return.  You should therefore also be thinking about contraception.  Breastfeeding can be used as a form of contraception (known as LAM) if nothing else apart from your breast enters your baby’s mouth. It is thought that the non-nutritive sucking action of the baby on your breast is what your body requires for the contraceptive effect to occur.  The use of dummies/ pacifiers, the baby sleeping through the night, or the introduction of solids will affect the contraceptive effect of breastfeeding. 

Your preferred choice of contraception should be discussed with your health care provider. Diaphragms will need to be refitted as the size of your cervix will have changed since your birth.  IUD’s are not usually inserted until your body has recovered from birth.  Condoms are easy to use, however you may need more lubricant.  The contraceptive pill will depend on whether you are breastfeeding.  The combined pill contains oestrogen and will affect your milk supply. Contraception that contains progesterone (minipill, injections or implants) have been found to be safe when used in conjunction with breastfeeding. 

Enjoying your baby, and having time with your partner starts with making time for yourself.  Looking after yourself IS looking after your family.  Strategies to reduce your workload will be learnt by talking to other mothers, and having a supportive partner.  Time is a precious possession.  Your housework will wait.  Enjoy your family!