Have you ever wondered what it is that creates the differences between each child? Why is it that your children’s personalities differ? Do you ever feel guilty that you are closer to one child than another?
Research has indicated that the order that you are born into a family can strongly influence a child’s personality and body type.
As every mother knows, just like a fingerprint, every child is unique. Understanding and nurturing your child’s specific gifts brings strength and success to the child and allows that individual to reach their highest potential. There is a special light within each of us waiting to be discovered and increased. Nurturing our children’s innate gifts allows them to mature into the magnificent beings they were meant to be and this benefits all of society.
The Rayid Birth Order model is one way to help us to understand and appreciate the qualities of each individual. Developed by Denny Johnson, the founder of Rayid International, it provides a unique method to attain a deeper understanding of our children.
The father determines the order of succession. Children conceived by the father follow a precise sequence of 12 types regardless of who is the mother. An embryo that survives past 16 weeks is included in the sequence. Other influences can also change the sequence, such as blended families, an absence of one parent, grandparents or even foster children living within the family unit for more than a year. Birth order can (as does life) get a little complicated, but for this sake of this article we will focus on a simple clear order of birth; first born being a girl or a boy.
A number one boy feels a greater connection with his mother and at times may clash with his father.
He derives his characteristics from his mother’s side, so it is rare that he is like his father. More Yin like in energy, generally he can have a delicate bone structure and is often a sensitive dreamer with a detached quality.
A first born son wants to be different from his father and this is not always easy for a Dad to accept. If a No 1 boy feels pushed (especially by his father) he will become stubborn and passively aggressive, simply refusing to do what he is told. A No 1 boy will respond best if a father is gentle with him and treats him with respect. If a father occasionally encourages his No1 son to make the decisions, this child will come out of his dreamy state and have the capacity for genius.
In family conflict he may act as his mother’s protector. Due to the depth of his love a No1 boy warms his mothers heart to the extent that a mother can unconsciously see him as a surrogate partner, seeking the love & support she does not receive from her spouse.
It is important that the mother of a first born son gives him freedom and does not tie him to her apron strings or it may make it difficult for him to have a healthy relationship as an adult.
A No 1 son is sensitive to criticism so treat him softly, encourage his imagination, and there are no limits to what he can achieve.
If you have read this and it does not apply to your child he may fit in to the small number of families where the polarities have shifted.
The first born son is a contradiction of his father so if the father is absent or very passive the No 1 son becomes energetically yang. More like a No 2 son, physically & emotionally determined. This has a ripple effect and flows through the sequence of all the following siblings
No 1 Girl
More yang like in quality she is mentally focused and internally strong.
A No 1 girl has a powerful presence and generally she will gravitate toward her father. If she becomes too close to her father, a rivalry can develop as she competes with her mother, for his attention. It is important that the father of a No 1 girl constantly reminds her that she may be “daddy’s little princess” but her mother is still the queen.
No 1 girls like to manage situations telling everyone what to do, this is developing her natural gift of taking care of others, however it is important that she is not given too much responsibility too early or she will lose her childhood. First born girls like to solve family problems and conflict therefore she needs to grow up in a home where peace reigns, otherwise she will literally sacrifice herself in order to keep her parents happy.
Parents of No 1 girls need to be firm in teaching her respect, but do this without excessive authority. Extend her child hood by helping her to not take on too much responsibility too soon. Brush her hair and remind her how much you love taking care of her. If the first born is a girl she has the ability to grow into a strong, wise woman, nurturing the whole family and preserving it for future generations.
Next month we will focus on the 2nd born and the special gifts they bring to our lives.
Warmest wishes to you all
“The Nature of Birth Order” by Denny Johnson & Edith Cuffe can be purchased online at Pam’s store.